Emily doesn't like sleeping alone. In the evenings, she will fall asleep nursing, or sometimes just because she is tired, and Dan or I will take her upstairs to bed. Ten or twenty minutes later, she wakes up and cries. We usually take her to bed a couple times, sometimes three.
Or, at night, if I am feeling somewhat coherent, I stay in her room to nurse her. There is a rocking chair, which is comfy, so nursing her for a little while isn't so bad. But then, after she falls asleep, and I put her in her crib, she wakes up and is very mad. Last night, she got really mad, and didn't want to be held. I finally had to swaddle her and jiggle her like a newborn--which I didn't think would work, since she hates blankets on her arms, but after a minutes of screaming, stiff bodied, she stopped. I got her asleep again, laid her down, and she woke up. This time I tried patting her stomach with my hand next to her head--so she could feel me--but it would only work as long as I didn't leave, and then after a while she was just upset.
Just let her cry it out, you might say. She'll fall to sleep on her own.
Hah. Emily is a very determined child.
I did try to let her cry it out last night, after the many attempts to get her to settle down. I went down stairs to use the bathroom (where you can't hear her scream) and then went back upstairs to my bed. She was still screaming. It was almost 6:20, so I decided I'd wait until 6:30, and if she was still awake, I'd go get her.
Around 6:25 Dan asked if I was going to get Emily. He hadn't said anything until then. I told him my plan. Then I mentioned maybe we should just let her cry it out. He didn't think it was a great idea.
At almost 6:30 she was crying in waves--loud for a bit, and then I couldn't hear her (through two closed doors). I thought, maybe she is falling asleep. But no, she'd start again.
So, at 6:30 I went and got her. She was standing in her crib (I'd left her flat on her back, wrapped in a blanket) and she stopped crying when she saw me. I carried her back to my room, were she was happy to see her Daddy. We turned off the lights, and after playing a little, she went to sleep with almost no effort on my part.
Obviously, she is supposed to spend early mornings with us, and she needs a mommy to flop all over to be truly comfortable.
Right now I am typing this while holding her, because if I put her down alone, she'll probably wake up.
What do I do?
This was/is the hardest part about being a mom for me. I remember that I had this same problem/complaint and it was at your baby shower that I threw for you that a mom told me that I had to just let Hallie cry, and that it was for her own good. (but we only had this issue at naptime) So, I took a deep breath, and she would cry sometimes for two hours. I would just distract myself any way I could and she would always fall asleep eventually, and now I tell her it's time to sleep, and I sing her her songs, and she lays down, and goes to sleep... so it was definitely DEFINITELY worth it, but it was the worst hours of my life while we were still going through it.
ReplyDeleteBut that's what worked for me, and Emily is not Hallie, and you are not me, so if that doesn't work for you then just keep trying different things until you find what does work. I guess the only thing I can suggest though is if you think something feels like a good idea, don't give up on it after only one or two tries because sometimes babies have a longer learning curve than we might like.
Oh, I also said a lot of prayers, and called a lot of people who reminded me that I was a good mom even if my baby was crying and I wasn't doing anything - because I was teaching her to sleep and in the long run that was more important than a few tears.
So, good luck with whatever you try, and Emily will grow up to be healthy and happy however it works out!! Love you.
That stinks, Rachel. :( Jill likes to sleep with us, but it sounds like it's nothing close to what you're dealing with. I can't blame Emily. Poor thing. It is more fun to sleep together.
ReplyDeleteWell, you can let her cry it out if you want.
Or you can just keep letting her sleep with you.
Sorry about the lack of advice. Haha!
Um, when Jill refused to sleep in her crib, we did a few things. We put some of my clothes in it, like a T-shirt that I had slept in a few nights, so it had my scent. We made the crib smaller by turning her and making a wall of blankets, so she felt more closed in, like if she were cuddling with us, and we held her for half an hour or so, hoping that she would get all the way asleep before putting her in the crib.
Sorry if that doesn't help or if you're already doing those things.
On the other hand, if you don't mind having her sleep with you, then there is nothing wrong with it for her. It cuts down your alone time with Dan, of course. And when Jill sleeps with us, I don't sleep very well, because she flails her arms and makes noises that wake me up, but parents aside, there aren't any negative aspects for the baby. Just the parents. All babies eventually learn how to fall asleep on their own. Some are three months and others are three years old.
This link has some info:
http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-cry-it-out-methods_1497112.bc?showAll=true
One of our friends here has an 18-month old who has never slept in a crib. So, don't feel like you're a bad mommy if you're sleeping with Emily.
ReplyDeleteShe does need to learn some day though. Yeah, I have no good advice, sorry!!
Amy's advice sounds good though! :)
Definitely pray for peace about whatever you decide. If you get it, then you're doing all right. :)
Adri was (is) a determined child. The smartest thing I ever did was give up the battle and let her sleep with us. I got a lot more sleep since I never had to get out of bed. She figured out how to sleep by herself around age 2. Now that I can't cuddle with her at night I am so glad I took every chance to when I could!
ReplyDeleteI think crying works well for some families, but I think most moms intuitively know if it will work for their kid or not.