Sarah Bear

Over 20 years ago, Dan was diagnosed with diabetes, right around the holidays.  He was eight.  Dan's told me he walked into the hospital on his own, which was unusual for diabetics; usually they are taken there in a ambulance, their blood sugars so high they go into a coma. Dan had to stay in the hospital for at least a couple days.  They probably preformed lots of tests, and he's told me he wasn't able to leave until he had completed nutrition training.  Because watching what you eat is one of the most important ways to control your diabetes, and to avoid all the nasty complications that can arise from not keeping your blood sugars where they need to be.

Can you imagine being eight, and suddenly you have to watch what you eat?

While Dan was in the hospital, he got, among other things, a small teddy bear.  Dan named it Sarah, and when he got home, he got his little sister, who was only four, to pick out a doll dress for Sarah to wear.  It was still wearing that dress when I first saw Sarah, which was probably when were unpack all his stuff after our honeymoon.  "What is this?" I asked, holding up a small black bear in a green dress with a little apron.  Not exactly what I expected to find in my husband's stuff.  And Dan told me the story of Sarah.  He's told me the story a few times, which is why I remember it to share with you today.

When Emily got old enough for toys, she started playing with Sarah bear as well.  I usually throw Sarah in with Emily's dolls when I am cleaning up her toys.  And all this time, Sarah has kept her dress on.

Until today.


I could hear Dan's strangled voice from the next room.  "Emily took off Sarah's dress."  Dan wasn't mad; he doesn't usually get mad about things.  But he was upset.  I poked my head into the room.  There was Sarah, naked on the floor.  She looks smaller without her dress.

I guess we should have seen this coming.  Emily has been busy taking clothes off her stuffed animals and dolls for the past couple days.  Perhaps Dan did see it coming, back when Emily was little.  He wasn't sure he wanted her to play with Sarah.  "Why not?" I said.  She played with all the stuffed animals I had accumulated over the years.  And I gave Sarah to Emily, despite any reservations that Dan might have had.

Or maybe Dan decided to let Emily play with Sarah.  It's been a couple years since then, and that time is fuzzy now.  We were probably in the midst of moving, or unpacking, or just living life as new parents.

Either way, Sarah has always been more to Dan than a teddy bear in a green dress.