Birthday

April 10, 2011 was an unusually warm day in a wet and chilly spring.  I walked up and down in our neighborhood, basking in the hot day while my body worked on getting ready for a little one to enter the world.  Emily, our little ball of energy, fell asleep in the afternoon heat.  The window over the couch was blowing in grass and the promise of flowers, and dust danced in the sunshiny air.  I slipped away from her cuddled mass and told Daniel: It is time.

The drive to the hospital was broken by shots of pain, which came even as I called my mom and my sister.  I gritted my teeth and tried to sound cheerful.  We made it to the delivery area and began the long process of waiting.  Which was not nearly as long as the time before, and my sister called to check on me, just after I had pushed my beautiful baby, Tabitha Grace, into the world.

And she was beautiful.  Round checks and nose, in a chubby face.  My first words on seeing her were, she looks just like her sister.  And she did.  I tell their baby pictures apart by the outfit they are wearing, the frame I have them in.

We had thought that Emily was a good baby, the best we could have, but Tabitha was an angel.  She was patient, not a word you usually tie to babies.  She would wait, wait to be fed, wait to be be rescued, wait to be held.  Her patience humbled me, as patience is often something I feel I lack.  She would let us know she needed, and then wait.  Oh, she still cried and fussed, still hollered to be picked up, but she was patient.  And content.  She took life as it was.  I wonder if she knew her life was short, measured in months instead of years.  And that she should enjoy it while she could.

So today, hold your babies close.  Even if they whine and cry through the night, hold them and love them.  Because this momma wishes she had held her baby all night long.  Cuddle them and give them kisses, because what I want most is to cuddle and kiss my sweet angel.  Love them.  They are little, and most of all, they need our love.