Measuring Up

So, recently several of my Facebook friends have posted an article on Facebook.  The author of the article wrote that she just couldn't do all the things she found on Pinterest, but her kids love her, and want her just the way she is.  Which is good.  To have your kids love you.  But my problem with the article is that people seem to think that Pinterest creates an ideal for them to live up to.

Which I guess I should not be surprised at.  People are always creating expectations for themselves.  As a society, we have expectations for each other about how we should dress and act, and how clean our houses should be (and then there is always the sub-culture of crafters, who think clean houses are for those who can't come up with something better to do).  We feel pressured to be stay-at-home moms, or to be mom's who work, or to be the mom who gets everything done and throws awesome parties for their kids.  We see what others do, and often we feel like we should be doing that too.

But really, everyone is different.  I have accepted that keeping my house clean is not something at which I excel.  This doesn't mean I don't try, but it isn't something I do as second nature, like some women I've met.  Usually, these seem to be the women who are amazed I find time to make things, or that I can make things at all.  (And see, here I am projecting my perceptions on the world.  Maybe you are a person who is great at cleaning and crafting).   We all have different strengths, and trials, and different ways we perceive the world.

I use Pinterest as an inspiration board, and as a place to gather ideas and store ideas I've found other places. I collect food recipes, not because I plan on trying a new one every night, but because someday I might want to try something new.  I collect party ideas not because I throw lots of parties, but because I enjoy the idea of throwing parties, and maybe someday I will use those ideas.  My house will never contain every home decorating idea I've pinned.  And I won't sew or buy every article of clothing on my pin boards.

But my pin boards aren't a to-do list.  They are inspiration.  And a reference for when I do decide to make something.  Because, I do make things from my pin boards.  I painted a sign with a quote I'd found on Pinterest.  I try out new dishes every once in a while.  I sew.

But then, I also read craft blogs as a form of daily amusement.  I enjoy being submerged in creative ideas.  And while I do write my own blog, I don't need thousands of followers to enjoy my blog (although, if I end up semi-famous from my blog, I don't think I would complain; also, if you aren't signed up as a follower, you could take a minute and do so now, because I think I would like having more followers, especially since I am pretty sure there are people out there who read my blog but don't follow it).

I guess it goes back to perceptions.  At church a while ago, another mother made a comment about how she feels like she has failed regularly.  This was weird to me, although I understood what she meant: she wasn't doing as good a job as she would like.  But for me, failing as a mother would be leaving them, or letting them starve while I got drunk.  Neither of which I plan on doing.  Failing seems like an end result, not a critique of our progress.  And every moment of motherhood we get an opportunity to do better.  Maybe Emily had an accident while watching too much TV, probably because she gets distracted while watching TV, and I don't remember to take her to the bathroom.  But instead of dwelling on my failure, I clean her up and the clean up the mess and move on. 

The only children we can't do more for are those who are gone.  And while I can't spend more time holding Tabitha, I tell myself I did a good job while I could.  Because if I believe I failed her, I wouldn't make it through one more day.  So, don't think of yourself as a failure.  Don't compare yourself to some measure someone else has set for themselves, or that you think they have set for themselves.  Accept yourself with all your strengths, and find a way to make the most of your own talents.